Blog Assignment Two: Finding Your Howl

The following post is based upon the manifesto Finding Your Howl by Jonathon Flaum which can be downloaded and read free of charge from the link in the title.

One of the stories told in Jonathon Flaum's “Finding Your Howl” is that of an assignment he received in fifth grade wherein one of Flaum's classmates, Nick Thompson, wrote a short story. Thompson's story told the unfortunate tale of a caged tiger who plans his escape from captivity only to jump the cage and land in another one. This jumping from cage to cage goes on indefinitely until the end of the tiger's life presumably, which becomes a metaphor for the endless struggle we undergo to escape our self-made prisons and find our creative voice.

In finding my own howl, I often am drawn to a line spoken by Owen Harper from the BBC series “Torchwood” where he says of a complicated task he's attempting “Trust me, I'm an improviser.” This quote, to me, summarizes the process of finding one's own howl and also implementing it in an otherwise uncreative life.

Over the course of my life I've found that one of the hardest parts of creating anything is overcoming a fear of my own inabilities and ignorance. I get so self-conscious about the quality of work I can produce that I sometimes don't even attempt to create anything, or if I do I create based on a tried and true formula I've achieved success with previously. Learning to ignore the twinge of embarrassment and “Trust me” and the work I produce is something I constantly struggle with. I've also always had a tendency to over-analyze. I think myself into a box and then only allow myself to create within those confines.

While I'm confident of my improvisational skills I don't utilizes them as often as I should. “I'm an improviser”, but I take my improvised concepts and beat them to death in my head before I actually create anything out of them leaving the end result flat and uninteresting. Now don't get me wrong, a perfectly calculated, meticulously crafted piece of art or media is a wonderful sight to behold. However, there should also be a certain amount of unfiltered inspiration and improvisation in a work that places the artist's spirit into the work. Oftentimes I lose that spark within the larger context of the work, or I ignore it in hopes of pleasing a certain audience with the piece more than creating something I'm truly proud of. Finding that perfect balance of improvisation and craft is going to be one of the most difficult, but ultimately the most rewarding, steps along the way to finding my own creative voice.

As I get closer and closer to finding my howl I realize that it's going to be difficult at times to shake others with it as it has shaken me. Sharing ideas is one thing, but moving people with them is entirely different. In order to create in the way I hope to I'm going to have to get people to believe me when I say “Trust me, I'm an improviser.” I'm going to need to prove the strength of my idea as well as my flexibility and willingness to come up with quick changes and solutions when an issue arises with my original concepts. Part of this is going to come from building relationships in the field and building up a reputations; however, a majority of it is going to have to come from trusting in myself enough to take an improvised idea and follow through with it as far as possible.

When Owen says “Trust me, I'm an improviser” both the viewers and the other characters immediately get behind him. They've seen him work miracles in the past and they know he's going to give his all trying every solution he can come up with until the problem is solved. I can only hope that upon finding my howl I am treated with the same trust, respect, and willingness for collaboration.